The Staying Married Challenge
...and just like that the beautiful emotional happy, walking on air feeling, disappears and you're left with - if he/she blinks loudly one more time, I will throttle him/her; and you find yourself having to restrain throwing that knife you're preparing dinner with, and work becomes a better place to be than home, and you just want to go there ~ what do you do?
It is too easy to get a divorce in South Africa and it's ultimately the easy and costly way out, but what if there was another way, the hard way, the way that takes effort, introspection, the clearing away of ego, the way that, given enough energy, commitment, and brutal truth, will make you see each other with love and respect again?
Like a chameleon, we change through growth, daily. It's an inevitable change that leaves us breathless and sometimes leaves us playing catch-up with our partner as we grow in different stages, and it's through those stages, that we morph into ghosts of the person our partners used to know. What we want at 25 is not always what we want at 35 and definitely not at 45,but its finding common ground through all those stages and ages, that defines who you journey onward with.
There are many scenario's that make your partners blink sound like the worst concert you've ever heard, maybe its cheating, work, jealousy, family dynamics, everyday pressure, financial, and the list goes on, but what if - we tweaked the way we respond to each challenge?
We are too busy with outside influences and our relationships take a back seat, forgetting to take time for each other. We don't place boundaries in our personal relationships ie clear time slots for work, family and each other. The new trend of working from home has encroached on our personal space, making relationships more difficult. So what can we do to avoid being sucked into the vortex of an unhappy marriage?
- Change the way you think. If you change your thinking you change your life.
- Retain your individuality ~ Let there be spaces in your togetherness, its Vitamins for your marriage.
- Communicate ~ Talk, but listen! All too often we hear but we don't listen.
- Never make assumptions, ever! Be clear in your understanding
- Don't take things personally - it's not always about you or because of you
- Speak with integrity, say only what you mean, speak with truth and love
- Be gentle on yourselves and be kind ~ It's a harsh world we live in
~ When a flower doesn't bloom ~
~ You fix the environment in which it grows ~
~ Not the flower ~