Wedding planning: Keeping the Peace
Keeping the peace during the wedding planning process.
The planning of a wedding has the potential to turn the calmest of souls into an irrational psycho. Hence the term Bride-Zilla! We have it on good authority though, that the stress gets to the grooms too. And who is the poor sap that most of the emotional and verbal scarring of the bride or groom’s wrath hits? The fiancé.
At the end of the day the wedding is just one day of your lives, and bickering over money, table arrangements and guests surely aren’t worth potentially ruining a relationship over. After all you have both chosen to get married for a reason, and in times of extreme stress, those reasons can start to blur.
So try to keep the peace with these four tips:
1. Agree on the budget from the get-go
Money is one of the top things any couple fights about. So before planning anything make sure you both know what the budget is and how much you are going to spend on what. The most unstable bride (or groom) is the one whose expectations weren’t managed. Draw up a budget and try to stick to it as far as you possibly can. For some lower budget ideas read this blog post: Too broke for a big wedding? Think again...
2. Divide the responsibilities equally and sensibly
Another top fight igniter is the responsibilities. A bride or groom who feels like they are doing everything alone will bring this matter up constantly until it becomes a massive issue in your relationship. Instead divide the responsibilities from the start, equally and sensibly. Don’t give him the flowers to do for example. If she wants to do most of the planning, make sure you offer several times to take on more responsibility. Get it in writing too - just in case!
3. Make decisions together
Don’t make any decision on your own. Even if your fiancé isn’t really interested in choosing the wedding flowers or DJ for example, make sure you still include them in the decision process. Give them a quick brief on the choices at hand and what you are leaning towards. With really opinionated couples, the decision process is sure to be the biggest challenge in your wedding planning. If you can’t agree, try the following:
- Compromise – Try and meet each other half way. If you're bickering about the first dance song for example, let your fiancé choose it in exchange for allowing you to pick some of the other important songs of the day.
- Motivate decisions – Sometimes you just want something because it’s pretty or trendy. So if you can’t resolve a decision try and find three good reasons for your choice, and go with the choice that comes with the best motivation.
- Get an outside party’s opinion – If you still can’t reach an agreement, then its time to get a mediator on board. It is essential that your chosen outside party is someone whose opinion you both respect and someone who has both of your best interests at heart.
4. Make time for each other (No wedding talk allowed!)
Don’t allow the wedding planning to consume one or both of you. There is nothing worse than dealing with work stress, financial stress or just feeling a bit blue about something and not having the full attention of your soul mate. Stick to a date night at least once a week to talk about everything other than the wedding. This will help you remind yourselves why you chose to get married in the first place, and lessen the burden of the planning of the day.