How to manage pre-wedding jitters
It’s a few weeks before the big day and you and your fiancé have a stress-related falling out. Hurtful words are said and you consider calling off the wedding. Is this the pre-wedding jitters or cold feet everyone is always talking about? Probably not. Pre-wedding jitters is when you feel sick to your stomach every time you think about the wedding or dread looking at anything related to the day.
There are different reasons people experience cold feet before a wedding, and they don’t all mean you should call it off. It could be due to the anxiety of everything that could go wrong on the day. Maybe it is because you struggle to deal with change in general. Perhaps you fear that your marriage may end the same way your parents’ did… Some of these reasons are small and perfectly normal but irrespective of the cause – address it!
Here are some ways to manage cold feet:
- Take a break – It could be that the stress of planning the wedding and making decisions day and night is behind your jitters. So, take a break from it or delegate some tasks. Plan a spa day or a night out with the girls. Or better yet, make a weekend of it. It could be a good idea to spend this time away from your fiancé too.
- Go back to basics – Wedding planning can make a couple’s time together seem as if it only revolves around tasks and schedules. And often all you need is to remember a less complex time when the two of you had less responsibility and more time for each other and the things that make you happy. Plan an evening or a weekend of going back to basics. No wedding talk. Just remembering what it is that made you fall in love with each other in the first place.
- Talk to your parents/closest friend – If the above didn’t do the trick, talk to the person that knows you the best, whether it is a parent, a friend or a family member. Choose someone that has insight into your relationship, and relationships in general, and not someone who will only tell you what you want to hear.
- Talk to your fiancé – If none of the above helped, delve deep to find the core issue and discuss this with your fiancé. You should be able to take any issue to your partner and even if it leads to a series of fights, at least it isn’t festering inside you alone. If your marriage is meant to be you will be able to get through the problem stronger than ever.
- Get professional help – Professional help is advisable at any point, irrespective of the issue. Sometimes small problems stem from a deeper rooted bigger one. You can talk to your minister, a marriage councilor, a psychiatrist or any other professional you feel comfortable with.