Preparing for your marriage, before you’ve even got there.
You’ve got all the wedding planning sorted, and the day is creeping closer. Pre-marital counselling is the next ‘to-do’ item on the list, but you really don’t want to go. You don’t need counselling. I mean, a happy relationship equals a happy marriage, right? Perhaps. Perhaps not.
Often the dynamics of a relationship shift slightly after marriage, and that could unpack a few surprises, which could cause friction. Great marriages require dedication - wouldn’t you want to know that your partner put in that dedication right from the start?
Here are some quite compelling tips for you to go to marriage counselling:
7 Reasons to go for premarital counseling:
- Get an expert’s advice: You might have nailed being in a committed relationship but if you haven’t been married for a decade or two or studied couples intensively, you probably know nothing about marriage. Who better to give you a head’s up than an expert that has seen and heard it all?
- Define your marriage’s values: Through counseling you can discuss both your values for marriage. You might think that nothing ought to change; she might have a different idea. With an expert in the room giving you advice you can figure out who is being unrealistic instead of getting a nasty surprise post wedding.
- Bury old issues: If there is something that you argue about frequently, use this time to solve it and bury it for once and for all. You know what we’re talking about…that thing you never seem to reach an agreement over, you just tire of the fight, and sweep it under the rug.
- Learn how to solve problems in a positive manner: How do you usually fight? Calmly or feverishly at the top of your lungs? An expert will give you some tips on the best way to resolve conflict, and let you in a few secrets about your partners love language.
- Learn to communicate effectively: Even if you think you are a great communicator…think back, how many of your arguments started out with: “You aren’t listening to me”? Effective communication can save you a lot of future trouble. It is also a handy tool for everyday life.
- Decrease your risk of divorce: Obviously divorce is the last thing you want to think of and naturally so. Still, the statistics are there. According to the latest available stats from Statistics South Africa, 24 689 couples got divorced in 2014, a 3.4% increase from the year before. And according to research compiled by Markman, Stanley and Amato, couples that had premarital counselling are 31% less likely to get a divorce. Get the odds on your side.
- Happy marriage, happy life: Let’s be honest. Life is hard. It’s tough cracking it out there in the real world and then there is stress about money, the economy, your health etc. Life will only get more stressful as you grow older, have kids etc. Imagine how tough all of this will be without having the support of your teammate?
Premarital counseling is a good start but always remember that a marriage needs daily work to keep it strong and stable. The couples who put the work in, reap the biggest rewards.
Let us know if you think premarital counselling is a good idea in the comments below.